No Child Left Behind - Football Style

I think "No Child Left Behind" is at best well-meaning policy that attempts compassion and responsibility but at worst is the death of good teaching creativity and skill and possibly our education system. It's been making a generation of teachers crazy in Texas, where it's rooted, and will ultimately lead to a national teacher-principal uprising someday. If you disagree, let me hear it. In trying to think through it, maybe one of us will change our minds.

Here is the football version.

I didn't write this and don't have a source, which is against my policy to post, but I've requested it from the person who sent it and I'll try to track it down and place the source here later.

No Child Left Behind: The Football Version

1. All teams must make the state playoffs, and all will win the championship. If a team does not win the championship, they will be on probation until they are the champions, and coaches will be held accountable.

2. All kids will be expected to have the same football skills at the same time and in the same conditions. No exceptions will be made for interest in football, a desire to perform athletically, or genetic abilities or disabilities, or if they just moved to your school yesterday from above the Arctic Circle. ALL KIDS WILL PLAY FOOTBALL AT A PROFICIENT LEVEL.

3. Talented players will be asked to work out on their own without instruction. This is because the coaches will be using all their instructional time with the athletes who aren't interested in football, have limited athletic ability . . .

4. Games will be played year round, but statistics will only be kept in 4th, 8th, and 11th games.

5. This will create a New Age of sports where every school is expected to have the same level of talent and all teams will reach the same minimal above average goals.

If no child gets ahead, then no child will be left behind.

GeneralGreg Taylor